


Misunderstandings

by BigTrashPile



Category: Undertale (Video Game)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Swapfell (Undertale), Blood, Donating blood, F/M, Fluff, Needles, Overprotective Papyrus, Overprotective Sans, Polyamory, dumb jokes, fic of a fic, nothing graphic though
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-11-18
Updated: 2019-11-18
Packaged: 2021-02-08 06:44:04
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,986
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21471736
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/BigTrashPile/pseuds/BigTrashPile
Summary: You're donating blood today.  Your skeleton boyfriends aren't sure how they feel about that.This is based off popatochisp's interpretation of Swapfell, and based on her fic Dirty Laundry.
Relationships: Papyrus (Undertale)/Reader, Sans (Undertale)/Reader
Comments: 23
Kudos: 278





	Misunderstandings

**Author's Note:**

  * For [popatochisp](https://archiveofourown.org/users/popatochisp/gifts).

> This is a one-shot based off Popatochisp's fic Dirty Laundry, which you can find [here!](https://archiveofourown.org/works/18528973/chapters/43915813) You should go check it out if you haven't. Seriously though, if you haven't, have you been living under a rock or something? Go read it, it's amazing!

You loved your boyfriends a lot. You really did! They were two of the sweetest people you’d ever met, even if it took a little while for them to warm up. You smiled at the memory of Sans’s attitude when you’d first met him. On the other hand, Papyrus had been a cinnamon roll since the first time you talked to him. Even with their differing attitudes, they were still the best partners you could have ever hoped for, and you loved them both a lot. And they loved you too! Sometimes, though, they could be a little...overprotective. Which leads you to the bizarre situation you were in now.

Yesterday, Sans had sent you a quick text. This wasn’t anything new, he usually sends a few during the day. He didn’t usually ask you out over text, though.

**Verta-bae: ** HELLO, DEAR! IS IT POSSIBLE THAT YOU COULD ACCOMPANY ME AND MY BROTHER ON A DATE TOMORROW AT AROUND ONE?

You grinned. He was always so formal when asking you out. What a sweetheart. And a date with both of your boyfriends was always a great time! You checked your schedule, fully ready to give him an enthusiastic “Yes!” until you remembered your other plans for tomorrow.

**You:** I would love to, but I’m donating blood tomorrow at 1:30. Sorry, babe :(

You had barely sent the text before your phone rang.

You checked the Caller ID. It was Sans of course. You weren’t sure what he was calling for, but you figured you’d better pick up before he got worried.

You pressed answer.

“ _ I’M SORRY YOU’RE DOING  _ ** _WHAT_ ** _ ????”  _ Sans practically screamed through the phone. He always talked loud, but this was ridiculous! You had to hold the phone at arm’s length to avoid rupturing your eardrum.

You put the phone back to your ear once you figured he was done. “I’m donating blood? Do you not know what that is?” you tried to hold back your giggles, knowing he’d be insulted if he knew you were laughing at him.

_ “I KNOW THAT YOU NEED YOUR BLOOD TO  _ ** _LIVE_ ** _ , SO DONATING IT DOESN’T SOUND VERY GOOD FOR YOUR LONG-TERM HEALTH,”  _ Sans shrieked.

Now you couldn’t stop yourself from laughing. “Pfft, no, Sans, donating blood doesn’t kill you! We do need blood to live, but they’re not taking all of it!” you explained between giggles.

There was a lengthy pause from the other end of the line.  _ “WELL. NOW I FEEL A LITTLE FOOLISH.”  _ You laughed a little more at the sheepish tone of his voice.  _ “I DID ALREADY CONTACT PAPYRUS HOWEVER AND INFORMED HIM THAT YOU WERE DOING SOMETHING IDIOTIC. HE WILL BE AT YOUR HOUSE SHORTLY.” _

“Excuse me what?” As if on cue, your doorbell rang. You didn’t even get the chance to stand up before Papyrus was barreling into you from behind your couch.

“noooooooo, you can’t do it! we love you too much! don’t go throwing away your life like this!!!” Seems like Papyrus had ignored the laws of physics like usual, somehow making it to your house in less than a minute and getting through your locked door.

“You’re both idiots,” you said affectionately, both to the skeleton now clinging to your back and the one snickering through the receiver.

Papyrus sniffled from behind you. “w-what d’ya mean?” Now you felt a little bad for almost making this precious boy cry. You turned around as best you could in his arms to comfort him.

“I’m sorry sweetie, I didn’t mean to make you worry. I just mean that donating blood doesn’t kill you, they just take a little blood and then your body makes more. They’re not draining me dry or anything!” you comforted him.

To his credit, Papyrus looked thoroughly embarrassed by his theatrics. “sorry, angel. sans just texted an’ said that you were givin’ away your blood, an’ i got scared thinking that you were gonna die or somethin’. ”

“ _ THERE WAS PERHAPS A SLIGHT OVERREACTION ON MY PART.” _

You giggled a little at the dramatic reactions of your boyfriends. “Well, it’s nice to know that you guys care!” you joked. Then an idea came to you. “Ooh! Since we were already going on a date tomorrow, how about you two come with me, and then we can all get ice cream or something afterwards?”

Papyrus perked up at the mention of ice cream. “i like that plan!”

“ _ YOU JUST WANT TO GET MORE SUGAR IN YOUR ALREADY CAVITY-RIDDEN MOUTH,”  _ Sans snarked.

“perhaps.”

“Oh come on, Sansy, like you’re gonna pass up spending time with your favorite human, are you?” you teased. You would have given him puppy dog eyes if he could see you.

Sans sighed dramatically. “ _ I SUPPOSE NOT. I’LL COME WITH YOU, ONLY BECAUSE YOU’RE MY ‘FAVORITE HUMAN’.”  _

“Awesome! It’s a date then! You guys meet me at my house tomorrow then, and we can all walk there together.”

Papyrus nuzzled his teeth to your forehead. “sounds like a good plan to me. if you die though, i’m blaming sans.”

_ “OF COURSE YOU’LL PUSH THE BLAME ON ME,”  _ Sans grumbled jokingly.

“ya know me so well, bro.”

\---------------

The next day, the three of you strolled through the front doors of the local high school, where the blood drive was taking place. You followed the signs to the gym, where the beds and medical equipment were set up. Sans looked uncomfortable with the hospital-like setting, and Papyrus squeezed your hand nervously. You squeezed back. No matter how many times you’d told them you’d be fine, they still were a little anxious about you doing this. You’d told Papyrus that you’d hold his hand the whole time, and had looked gone to the Red Cross website, where it explained all the risks of donating, and the things that definitely  _ didn’t _ happen, like death. That had seemed to put them more at ease.

You went up to the human teenagers sitting at a folding table to check in. They stared up at the scary looking skeletons flanking you. They nudged each other, trying to make the other greet you first. You took pity on them, and told them your name and your appointment time, then you turned to your boyfriends.

“Is it okay if they come with me? They’re curious about what donating blood is, and want to see it first hand. They don’t exactly have blood, you see,” you joked, hopefully to put them more at ease.

One of them laughed a little, and the other smiled, so it seemed like you succeeded. “Yeah, I’m sure it’s okay if they sit by you, you just have to be alone for the questions and stuff,” the one who laughed told you.

You grinned at them, thanking them and walking into the gym. There were around a dozen beds placed in neat lines around the room, and there was a projector and screen on the far wall so that you could watch a movie while donting. It looked like Toby Maguire’s Spider-Man was playing. There were several humans waiting in folding chairs and a few more milling about the room, tending to the ones currently getting their blood drawn or asking the standard questions to the ones getting ready to donate. The whole place smelled strongly of rubbing alcohol.

You signed in with the human woman at a table just inside the door. She gave you a tablet with the usual questions that you answer before donating. “I’m gonna have to ask you two to sit over there while she answers the questions. It’s just the normal protocol, sorry.” To her credit, she didn’t seem scared of the two of them at all, and apparently, other monsters had come in earlier with their human mates or friends, so having them here wasn’t too unusual.

The two of them reluctantly agreed, moving to sit where the woman had gestured. You gave them each a quick peck on the cheek bone, which seemed to cheer them up. You sat down to answer the questionnaire. Every so often you would look up to your boyfriends, and each time, they were staring directly at you. It took everything in you not to laugh when you saw them looking right at you with dead expressions and wide eye sockets.

Finally you finished, and you gave the secretary woman the tablet back. As soon as you did, your two skeletons were at your side again, clinging to you and worriedly asking you if you were okay.

“Chill out guys, everything’s okay! I just have to answer some questions to make sure it’s okay for me to donate.”

“you’re sure it’s okay? nothing made you...like, uncomfortable or anythin’?”

“Yes, I’m positive, it’s nothing new, I’ve done this before.”

“THANK THE STARS, YOU LOOKED LIKE YOU WERE DOING SOMETHING WEIRD.”

“That’s because you guys kept staring holes into my head, I was trying not to laugh!” you explained.

They looked appropriately embarrassed.

“I’m going to have to go off by myself one more time, to get my blood tested and answer a few more questions. Can you guys handle yourselves?” you half-joked.

“WE’LL BE FINE DEAR, SO LONG AS THEY’RE NOT DOING ANYTHING THAT DOES YOU HARM,” Sans threatened, partly to you and partly to the staff who looked like they were arguing over who would take you back to test your blood.

Finally, one brave soul called your name. You gave their hands one last squeeze before you walked back to the nurse who called for you. He took you to one of the little testing areas.

“What’s with the skeletons? Are you okay?” he asked quietly.

You rolled your eyes. “Yes, I’m fine. They’re my boyfriends, and they’re just a little over-protective.”

He seemed to accept that answer easily enough. He began to go through the normal rigamarole, asking you to roll up your sleeves, asking if you were on medication, pregnant, etc. etc.

Finally, he got to the part where he needed to prick your finger for a blood sample. He pulled out the little needle, and stuck it into your finger. You winced, which was clearly a mistake.

In less than a second, your two skeletal guard dogs were by your side, Papyrus picked you up out of the chair, holding you to his chest, growling threateningly, and Sans summoned a sharpened bone, pointing it directly at the nurse’s neck.

“WHAT, PRAY TELL, DID YOU DO TO OUR HUMAN?” Sans spoke slowly, coldly, and if you were on the business end of his weapon, you’d probably be crying.

The nurse was faring much better than you would have been, all the blood had drained from his face, and he was shaking, but he hadn’t pissed his pants or started crying, so he was certainly doing better than you would have.

“I-I was j-just t-t-t-testing her blood, p-pleasedon’thurtme,” he stammered. 

“Guys, leave him alone, this is normal, I’m okay! He just pricked my finger, it’s alright!” you frantically tried to defend the innocent human. “They just have to get a sample to make sure everything’s okay, it just hurts because there’s lots of nerve endings on fingers, everything’s okay!” You held up your still-bleeding finger to prove it to them.

The two of them looked at you, to the nurse, back to you, back to the nurse. It would have been comical if a man’s life wasn’t on the line.

Finally, Sans dispersed the bone, and Papyrus put you down. You and the nurse, and everyone else in the gym breathed a sigh of relief. “SORRY FOR THAT HUMAN. I MAY HAVE REACTED A BIT DRAMATICALLY. I WILL REFRAIN FROM IT IN THE FUTURE.” He turned to the rest of the gym, who had stopped what they were doing to watch the drama. He scowled. “GO ABOUT YOUR BUSINESS, NOTHING TO SEE HERE.” Then the two of them left you and went to sit back down, the crowd parting for them like the Red Sea.

You turned to the nurse, trying to comfort him. “I’m so, so sorry for that, they don’t know a lot about this kind of stuff, they wouldn’t have actually hurt you, are you okay?”

He took a few deep, calming breaths. “I-I think I’m okay now. Just scared.” He rubbed his neck where the bone had been. “I hope no one actually threatens you, for their sake.”

He finished testing your blood, despite your protests. He said that doing something routine like this was soothing, but that he would take a break as soon as he was done.

You were done in a few minutes, your blood was safe to donate, and you were handed off to another nervous-looking nurse. You waved the boys back over, and they trotted to your little bed. You decided to explain the next part to avoid another incident while the nurse scrubbed your arm with antiseptic.

“Okay, so when she’s done, she’s going to find a vein and put a needle in my arm. This is normal, and it doesn’t hurt as much as it looks like. There will be  _ no threatening people, _ understand?” You gave Sans a pointed look as you said that last part.

“I ALREADY APOLOGIZED FOR THAT,” he grumbled.

Meanwhile, Papyrus was watching the nurse clean your arm with fascination. As soon as she was done, he reached down and poked your arm where she had rubbed it with the alcohol.

“Papyrus!” you and the nurse both glared at him.

“what? it was shiny, you expect me  _ not _ ta touch it?” he defended himself.

“Well, now she has to do it again, you goober,” you scolded jokingly as the nurse started again. “They have to do it for a certain amount of time, and now we have to wait that long again.”

He looked appropriately sheepish. “whoops, sorry angel. and, uh, nurse lady.”

“It’s fine,” she grumbled.

Once she was done, again, she got the needle ready. “Okay, she’s going to put the needle in my arm now, are you guys gonna be okay?”

Sans scoffed. “OF COURSE.” Papyrus didn’t seem as confident, but still assented.

Papyrus gripped your hand so tightly you were sure you were going to lose circulation, and Sans hovered over your arm, as if to make sure nothing went wrong. As soon as the needle pierced your skin, Papyrus gagged and looked away, shuddering. Sans kept staring, but his eye lights went out.

The nurse covered the needle with a little cloth and taped everything in place. As soon as the needle was out of sight, they seemed to snap out of their weird freaked out state.

Papyrus gave one more shake. “so, what happens now?”

“Now we wait until the bag is full.” You pointed at the bag of blood slowly but surely filling up next to your chair. Naturally, Papyrus poked it.

He gasped. “it’s warm! that’s so weird.”

“IT IS?” Sans bent to poke it too. “Holy Shit.”

You laughed at their dramatic reactions. “Humans  _ are _ warm-blooded you know! That’s not a metaphor!”

The three of you sat in silence for a moment until Sans broke it. “DO YOU HAVE A RED PEN?” he asked the nurse.

“No, why?” she asked, confused.

“IN CASE YOU NEED TO  _ DRAW BLOOD, _ OF COURSE!”

“sans, i’m disowning you.”

\---------------

Once the bag was full, the nurse quickly wrapped up your arm and sent you on your way, as if eager to get rid of you three. That was understandable, honestly.

“Okay, now I just have to sit here for a few minutes so they make sure nothing’s wrong with me and I don’t faint.” You guided them over to the mat on the floor next to the snacks. Papyrus’s eyes lit up.

“you get to eat all this?” he asked in awe.

You chuckled. “Well, you get to eat what you want, it’s mostly healthy stuff that’ll help you produce blood faster.”

He looked at the table full of snacks enviously. After a moment, you took pity on him. “I’m sure you can have some.” That was a mistake.

His eye sockets lit up, and you could practically see the sparkles around his skull. He started scooping up a ridiculous amount of snacks into his pockets happily.

“SLOW DOWN YOU PIG, WE’RE GOING TO GET ICE CREAM AFTER, YOU’RE GOING TO SPOIL YOUR APPETITE!” Sans scolded half-heartedly.

Papyrus paused, a fruit by the foot sticking out of his mouth like a ridiculously long tongue. “do you even know me?” he dead panned before going right back to his snack hoarding.

You simply drank your juice and watched the chaos unfold.

\---------------

Once you were given the green light to go, the three of you strolled out of the school on your way to the ice cream place. You were feeling a little light headed, and stumbled a bit, gaining the attention of your bickering boyfriends.

“Are You Okay, My Dear?” Sans questioned worriedly.

You smiled at him. “I’m alright, just a little dizzy. It happens.”

That answer didn’t seem to satisfy him, but you kept walking. You kept walking until you were scooped up into a bridal carry, that is.

“W-what are you doing?” you squealed.

“HELPING MY LOVELY HUMAN OF COURSE! IF YOU’RE TOO DIZZY TO WALK PROPERLY, YOU WON’T WALK AT ALL!” he explained.

“yeah, we don’t want you fainting on us, angel.” Papyrus kissed your forehead.

“You guys are dorks. Why don’t we just teleport there, Sans?”

Sans scoffed. “WE ARE FIT AND ABLE-BODIED YOUNG PEOPLE, WE CAN WALK JUST FINE. WELL, EXCEPT FOR YOU OF COURSE. BUT IF I MUST CARRY YOU, THAT’S A SACRIFICE I’M WILLING TO MAKE,” he explained dramatically.

“yup, you’re just gonna have to relax and let us take care of ya. tragic, i know.”

You rolled your eyes, but snuggled into Sans’s broad chest. Yes, despite their flaws, you loved your boyfriends, and wouldn’t trade them for the world.

**Author's Note:**

> I hope you enjoyed! I know that they'd probably know what donating blood is, but I thought it was funnier if they didn't so, ya know. ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯ Anyway, have a nice day!


End file.
